Love is NOT the Cure
A Scientifically Quantifiable, Yet Divine & Even Magical Aspect to Love
Let Me Tell You Where it Hurts
The stereotypes of men being narcissistic (selfish, arrogant and aloof) and women codependent (emotionally needy and dependant) are hard to avoid. (Please be aware that Steve and I don’t demonise either but see men and women both as victims of this division in our world’s romantic mind.)
In truth, both sides of this dichotomy infect most women and men. Not only can men be codependent and women narcissistic (my recent Substack article Narcissistic Barbie Ditches Codependent Ken is a clear example of this), but this programming has reached a point where most men and women alive today will show at least some symptoms of both mindsets.
Our new book—which will be released early next year—attempts to draw a straight line back through history, exposing the terrible crime of how this schism has been deliberately created in women’s and men’s thinking. Producing a psychological barrier that sabotages a couple’s ability to understand each other and work together in their own best interests.
Please don’t let our suggestion that narcissistic and codependent thinking has been artificially created (to divide people) be more complicated in your thinking than it needs to be. Humans are constantly divided into two artificially defined and opposing camps. Democrats and Republicans first come to mind, but of course, there are many others: black and white, gay and straight, rich and poor, east and west, believers and non-believers, a list that could go on forever. In truth, we are all individuals and—unless we are planning on going to war—should not be dividing ourselves into opposing camps.
Love is the Answer but Not the Cure
Trying to make sense of our divided and disordered thinking, all types of art and storytelling have come to present love as a potent and even supernatural form of psychotherapy. Song lyrics, especially, claim love to be ‘the cure’.
In the early stages of romance, we share our whole past, expecting this process to magically put our lives back in order. But with the underlying bad programming hidden from us—which even causes our own minds to be in conflict—this sharing can only lead to more hurt and misunderstanding. We feel betrayed when our partner doesn’t understand or support us in ways that we do not even understand or support ourselves.
The romantic notion of love as psychotherapy has caused humanity inconceivable damage. Love can only restore order in our lives when we learn to work as a team. This type of teamwork can never result from long, emotionally charged conversations but only on the job.
You cannot build your emotional and spiritual health on romance, but only through self-knowledge, self-awareness and healthy daily personal habits.
When two people come together, each knowing how to care for themselves and regulate their emotions, and both ready to explore how to work together as equals, an entirely new field of opportunity opens. One that will provide the pure joy of connection and comfort that all of us need to find purpose and meaning in our lives. Steve Cooper
While not a cure, the field of opportunity Steve mentions here constitutes a scientifically quantifiable yet divine and even magical aspect of love that can bring abundance and healing to our lives.
The Science, Magic and Divinity of Cooperative Systems
The laws of thermodynamics state that energy in a system is always lost or degraded.
Permaculture, however, teaches that this is only true in closed systems—which never exist in nature. An open system’s energetic (and tangible) outputs are often more than the combined energy of that system’s parts.
The meaning of this is simple. Open systems—developed to help plants, animals and people work together productively—achieve more (without putting in more effort) than people who work independently. Free from non-productive entities exploiting the system, surpluses in cooperative groups are easy and natural to achieve.
How is this magic? Well-devised open systems run on high-quality energy that, while immensely valuable, can be almost silent or invisible. In this type of system, one plus one can equal three, four or even millions! Precisely what happens when a couple come together to make a family or when one bee plus one flower produces hundreds (or even thousands) of seeds. This abundance usually results from the incredible open design systems of nature.
We do not live in a closed system but a matrix or web. Love and attraction essentially power the design.
Humans, too, can create open design systems built on love that produce abundance. The creation of this type of system always benefits from differing minds coming together.
Work based on motivating people through love is more natural, sustainable and efficient than motivating people through fear.
The Power of Love is Real
I learned this vital lesson working in a health food factory as my first real job.
The company implemented some changes after the owner’s wife visited for several days to conduct time and motion studies on the factory floor.
Up to this point, the workers made the company’s best-selling cookies while facing a wall. By simply moving the workbenches so people faced each other while making the cookies, their efficiency and standard of work dramatically increased.
Protected from non-productive entities exploiting the system, love naturally brings humans together to work harmoniously for mutual and equal benefit.
The deliberately imposed divide in our mindsets has been a most devastating crime. Our upcoming book will reveal the weapons, motive, opportunity, fall guy and original villains.
The fastest way to put better programming in place is to simply get things in balance. Am I considering my needs or focusing on pleasing someone else? A healthy person thinks carefully and with an open heart about both.
Being 'protected from non-productive entities exploiting the system', is a statement I'd like to see examined and hope that it is in your new book. Looking forward to the read!