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Article 2 in the Better Conversation Series

I‘ve heard it said that you are unlikely to form a lasting connection if you don’t discover what a new person you meet is genuinely passionate about within the first few minutes of talking to them.

I would take this even further and say you must find a subject you are both passionate about!

Just asking, “So what interests you?” is a bit awkward and might not cut it, so let’s see how we can accomplish this.

The two ideas below are ones you can use in everyday conversation . . .

1. Draw them Out

A great trick I often use with my children is to repeat the last word or two of their sentences. This will draw them out and help lead the conversation to what they are interested in sharing. This might sound something like . . .

Son: “School was so terrible today. I can’t believe what they made us do!”

Me: “Do?”

Son: “They said it was too hot to use the playground, so they made us stay in for sport.”

Me: “For sport?”

Son: “Yes, as if we hadn’t already been stuck in the hot classroom long enough! I know you probably need help, but I want to get some fresh air outside.”

Me: “Fresh air sounds good!”

Son: “Yes, I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, but some kids I haven’t hung out with before are getting together at the park around the corner and asked if I wanted to join them.”

Me: “Join them?”

Son: “I am not sure what they do when they hang out, so I am a little nervous, but most of them seem okay, so I thought I would just go check it out.”

Me: “How about I drive by in about half an hour and ask if you want to come shopping with me? That will give you an excuse to leave if you don’t like what they are doing?”

Son: “That would be great, Mum; thanks for understanding!”

Because I let my son lead this conversation, it went in a direction that gave me the information I urgently needed about his world, which I probably never could have discovered by asking longer questions.

Easy right? The second idea I have to offer is slightly more challenging but even more rewarding. This is the best trick I know to build instant intimacy…