Beyond Social Banter

Article 3 in the Better Conversation Series

In our last lesson, I talked about SRs. These are standard responses or stories that people tell over and over again.

In today’s lesson, I will share two techniques to encourage the person you are conversing with to get out of SR mode and switch on their imagination instead.

Real-time conversations—instead of SRs—are the only place to forge a deeper and more genuine connection with fresh memories.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Once you have drawn someone out conversationally, you may start to get a feel of where you may find a connection. This is when open-ended questions can be used to lead the conversation somewhere you both might find interesting.

Example 1.

Friend: “I spent the weekend rebuilding my bike.”

Me: (not interested in bikes) “You like fixing things?”

Friend: “yeah I love it, you can get instructions to fix anything online now. Steve told me you fixed your phone recently!”

Example 2.

Steve: “We went down to Wangaratta to play the Rovers that year.”

Me: (not interested in football) “What…